Dreams in Dagorlad
by Darran the Fool
Summary: Miroku dies tragically fighting Naraku. Now Inuyasha, Kagome, and Sango must continue on. Now a strange demon with a hidden past befriends Sango. Is he a new friend to the gang? Or will he really be their undoing? Alternate Universe
1. Author's Forward

A forward by the author:

First, the obligatory disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, any of it's characters or plotline. I however lay claim to this specific story as my own work and will take action against plagiarism.

Fair warning, all of my chapters are long, every one over two thousand wordsand most are over 3,500, hope you don't mind. I will update frequently.

I love reviews, especially the ones that actually contain constructive criticism. Feel free to send one for every chapter if you like.

Fair warning again, this Fan fiction is rated Mature, there's violence, and lot's of cusswords, though not tastelessly so, I swear. (take a moment to laugh at that unintended pun)

Another fair warning. There is no Shippo or Kilala in this fanfic. I consider them in the Inuyasha universe as a whole to be mostly useless characters, essentially a dog and a whiny brat of a kid in an otherwise pretty adult romance situation. To fans of these characters, you have my apologies.

One more fair warning, most every chapter contains song lyrics at the beginning. I know a lot of people skip these and don't like them, I know I do that a lot.

But music has inspired a lot of this Alternate universe storyline. I haven't used them as emotional setting, or even to present the 'gist' of a chapter, but more as foreshadowing.

I've tried to pick lines that act sort of like "next time on Inuyasha…scroll below" and to present the lyrics in a poetic format that makes them artistically powerful without needing to hear the music or even having heard of the band.

Most of these lyrics are from a band called _Coheed and Cambria._ If you like modern rock, or progressive/art rock, they are artistically, instrumentally and in my humble opinion the absolute best band out there today.

And to any nit pickers, I posted the band and the _album_ for the lyircs credits, if you really want to know which song the lyrics are from, there's always Google.

I know I'll be immediately flamed for OOC conduct between the original Inuyasha characters. In my defense, I've set the storyline more or less two years after the events of the show currently airing on Adult Swim, and try my best to portray realistic character growth.

Lastly, it's my first story people, be gentle ;)

Thanks and love,

Darran


	2. ReStressed

_Holding on to let them know  
What is given to me  
To hide behind  
The mask this time  
And try to Believe_

If I can Remember  
To know this will Conquer me  
If I can just walk alone  
And try to escape into me

_**-Disturbed**_

_**Believe**_

It had clearly been a while since the great battle had happened. Bodies of men were strewn across the field. The rising noon sun gave the bloodied scene a horrible clarity of color. The sickeningly sweet smell of death rose with the temperature. It was the worst part of being in the priestesshood, having to clean up after huge battles like this. The feudal era didn't seem to be done having them.

Naraku had been gone for quite a while, obviously needing time to heal after their latest battle, which he lost, but the trouble his minions caused hadn't let up much.

Kagome looked out upon the battle plain, her stomach sinking at the thought of having to help bury the dead. Not needed on the Youkai hunts anymore, (since Inuyasha had vetoed it, and the amount of jewel shards not possessed by Kagome or Naraku had become very few,) Kaede had suggested she help out the priestesshood and receive some formal training in the process.

_Formal? _She thought, her stomach tying knots.

Kagome asked around the other priestesses dressed in more 'formal' attire than she if they needed her help. All shooed her away.

_Fine, I'd rather not help anyway…_she thought.

Kagome suddenly stopped dead in her tracks.

"Jewel shards?"

Kagome scanned the field with her eyes, hoping to see the glow of the shards. She was surprised to feel so many of them at once. Now she couldn't smell the stench of the dead or the cries of the wounded. Her senses focused them selves towards the shikon no tama pieces.

_There's at least four…_

"Huh?" Kagome said, startled out of her concentration.

"I said _he's _been here." Inuyasha said behind her.

"What? Inuyasha what are you doing back so soon?" Kagome asked, turning to him.

Ignoring her, he continued: "Naraku has been here. His vile stink is everywhere. But why would he be concerned about this battle?"

"Inuyasha, there's a lot of jewel shards around here. Be quiet for a moment."

He cocked an eyebrow in interest but remained quiet.

"There!" She pointed to the far end of the field, 300 yards away. "Right over there! O my gosh, there's _five!"_

Inuyasha picked her up and sped over to the far end of the clearing. Setting her down, he quickly drew Tetsusaiga. He wasn't about to be fooled by some plot. The stench of Naraku was powerful here.

Kagome knelt down by a fallen warrior. She held her breath, afraid to breathe in the dead smell around him. The samurai was dressed as a noble; heavy, expensive armor, fancy katana at his side, and a golden helm. He had been run through at least twice, and his long black hair was matted to his face with blood.

Kagome suddenly felt a heavy sadness, and silently wondered why any war should ever happen, especially if this was the result.

"It's a man's world," she mumbled.

"What?" Inuyasha said, looking at her with a serious look on his face. She loved that look. It was his "I'll protect you from anything, Kagome" face.

She smiled for a short moment, "Nothing," she said, and went back to rummaging the corpse. It was horrible.

Inuyasha's eyes darted from tree to tree, waiting for an ambush. Naraku would be insane to attempt an attack with all the Miko's abound. But the bastard was smart, Inu would give him that.

Suddenly, Kagome shrieked in terror.

"What, what? Kagome?" Inuyasha stared down at Kagome, who in turn was staring at the body, eyes wide and mouth agape. "Kagome? What's wrong?"

"He breathed! O my god, he's breathing!!!" Kagome's voice was shrill with terror.

"Don't be such a scaredy-cat, Kagome-" Inuyasha joked, but he shut his mouth fast.

The corpse _was _breathing.

"Oh my heavens," said the Miko, "He is still alive?"

"Yes, my dear, but be wary, he is alive for a reason." Elder Kaede said.

"Why?" the Miko apprentice asked.

"This man is not a man, he is a Youkai." said Kaede matter-of-factly.

The young priestess gasped.

"Really? Why are we helping him? We could slay him now! While he is defenseless!" she drew a ward charm from her kimono.

"Nay, child. You've done enough, go now and inform Inuyasha that I want to speak with him."

"Y-yes, milady." the Miko bowed and left quickly.

Kaede stared down at the seemingly human body on the bed. His breaths were ragged and pain-stricken. His skin was a strange blue hue in the same way any normal human has that pinkish cast to theirs.

Kaede had seen this once before, and it distressed her. She cast a spell of bonding to hold him to the bed in case any bad should come of the situation. She sat, never taking her eyes off the face of the would-be young man.

Inuyasha barged in the room, a few moments later. Kagome was right at his heels.

"I told you, Kagome! The old hag only wants to see me!"

"Inuyasha, be silent. I wanted Kagome here as well."

The Hanyou grumbled and crossed his arms.

"So?"

"How is he still alive?" Kagome asked, wide eyed with her hands clasped against her chest in a girly expression of nervousness. "Is he a zombie?"

"Whatever that is, child, I do not know. But I do know this. He is a Youkai."

Inuyasha bared his teeth. 'And he reeks of Naraku.'

'I've healed him to the best of my ability, but I can't do much for him. A Miko's healing powers are for the good of heart. I'd likely kill him by trying to save him.'

"Care to tell us why that _isn't _a great idea?" Inuyasha said.

"I would like some answers from him. Why was he was at the battle, why does he have five of Naraku's shards." Kaede said

'That is a good idea, Kaede-sama, but why should we risk that?" Kagome said, eying the human looking (except for the blue-tinged skin) demon on the hospital bed. The Youkai was different than any Kagome had ever seen. She leaned against the wall, unnerved by that blue skin.

_I purified the shards, but I can't take them out…his skin, it keeps them locked in his arm…_

"Why is he…that color?"

Kaede sighed. "He is attempting to heal himself. The term is "spontaneous regeneration". It takes a great deal of energy that he doesn't have to complete."

"I've never heard of any Youkai being able to do that," said Inuyasha, looking at the old Priestess as if she was nuts.

"I have known only one." said Kaede 'Naraku.'

Sango watched the wind pass through the fields with bleak eyes. She was wondering how much of this could she take. Her village was gone. Her family and only brother were gone. And now, with the passing of Miroku, the only other person she was able to let herself love, she felt she had no reason to live. Revenge was becoming a weaker and weaker alternative by the hour. The pain was so great, she was afraid she would have to end it soon.

It was such an unfair death, having to watch him save Kagome from Naraku. She would have felt better if it had been herself, but he died for Kagome.

She looked up, and it wasn't the plains she saw anymore. She saw it, right in front of her eyes, as clear as day: Naraku, rushing toward Kagome, ready to tear her limb from limb. Inuyasha was on the ground unconscious and bleeding. Sango herself was there, but Hiraikotsu lay shorn in half on the ground before her. She was nothing but a helpless human spectator, a witness to a clash of powers greater than her own.

Miroku had dived in between them, attempting to suck Naraku into his Kazaana. It had almost been over right there. Naraku was halfway inside Miroku's hand, fighting with all his might not to be consumed by the cursed hand. She could hear Miroku's scream of rage as Naraku slid inch by inch out of the kazaana, as thousands of poisonous insects flew in.

The explosion had been nothing short of deafening. Sango watched as the scene became soundless. Naraku had been blown in half. Kagome and Sango were flung away.

Sango blinked and the fields were going back and forth in the wind again. She shuddered, the vision leaving her nauseous, disoriented . _I'm going crazy…_

Much to her relief, Kagome came to sit by her, apparently back from her priestess duties. Kagome kneeled on the soft grass, and without saying a word, gave her friend a strong hug. Sango burst into tears.

"It's going to be okay, Sango," she said, holding her best friend tight. "I'm here for you."

Sango's sobs became hysterical. "I wish you weren't! I wish it had been you instead!" Sango cried.

"It's okay, Sango. I know you don't mean that," Kagome said, only holding her tighter.

The sky grew dark outside, and, although he knew he should be with Kagome and help try to shove some food down poor Sango's throat, he was far too concerned about the person on the bed in front of him. There wasn't any doubt. This Youkai either had been consorting with Naraku, was an incarnation of Naraku, or _was _Naraku. There wasn't any doubt in his mind. The stranger's fever had gone down, and he was now resting peacefully. His breathing still had a nasty rasp to it.

'"Go home, Inuyasha. I have bonded this demon. He isn't going anywhere. You however, are." Kaede's voice behind him said.

"You better be sure of that, you old hag," Inuyasha growled. "No one will cry for you if he kills you. The mistake of making me leave would be that clear." Inuyasha said, getting up and storming home to see if Kagome needed any help.

"All huff and puff that one," Kaede said. She then turned to keep watch on the strange demon. She hoped Inuyasha was wrong.

After Sango had cried herself to sleep again, Kagome and Inuyasha stayed awake for a while to talk about the Taija's problems and how they were going to keep her safe.

"I don't like to say it, but she's becoming a dead weight around our ankles." Inuyasha said.

"Inuyasha! SIT!" Kagome said, and Inuyasha crashed to the ground. "How could you say such a thing about her? Sango is our friend!" She gave the sleeping Sango a sad glance. "We have to find something to distract her. She's killing herself!"

Inuyasha got back to a sitting position, dusting himself off. "I said I didn't like it, but we can't let her slow us down! Miroku would have wanted us to finish that slimy fucker off."

Before Kagome could sit Inuyasha again, she looked into his eyes and saw the crushing guilt in his golden eyes as he looked at Sango. He blamed himself for not being able to save his friend Miroku, and wanted now more then ever to become fully demon and crush Naraku to putrid dust.

"Which brings me to our next problem," Kagome said, feeling even more crumby.

"What?" Inuyasha groaned, wishing he could go away and sit under the Goshinkobo tree and be alone for a while.

"That…Youkai…," She said, sounding nervous, "Bears more than a mere resemblance to Miroku…" she sniffled, trying not to cry.

"No he doesn't!" Inuyasha said indignantly.

"Only as much as Miroku as I do Kikyou!" Kagome said, her voice rising.

Inuyasha opened his mouth to object, but shut it quickly and looked away. Kagome didn't seem to think so, but it was the Hanyou's opinion that she looked a great deal like Kikyou.

"I really, didn't notice," he said, pretending to admire the moon.

His eyes opened. The confusion he felt was euphoric. He didn't know where or when he was. He tried to sit up in the bed, but he was strapped down. His first thought was the old _where am I?_ chestnut. The second was the wordless realization of pain. His stomach and chest felt like they were filled with sharp knives, and his head pounded furiously. He was aware that he was extremely hungry and thirsty. His vision was blurry, and all he could see was a shape bent over, looking at him.

"Ah, ye be awake?" the shape asked him.

He didn't respond at once, instead he tried to recognize the voice speaking to him, so he could claim a grip on reality. Finally, he replied: 'I'm very thirsty, milady.'

"Thirsty, eh? Well, since ye are a polite little demon, I'll entertain your plea, if you entertain me, eh?" The shape focused a little more. Now less a large white bulk and more a hunched over old lady.

He said nothing, instead squinting, trying to recognize who this lady was and why he was tied to her floor.

"What be your name?" The woman asked.

As his vision focused more, he saw she was wearing an elder priestess' kimono. For no reason he was aware of, he became afraid of this woman.

"I am…" he trailed off, unsure of his name.

"Forgive me, but I must have gotten hit on the head…my name escapes me…" He said. Now that he could see the old woman's eyes, he felt a little more afraid. They were cold, ominous, sizing him up like he would be good enough to eat. But that was ridiculous.

"Interesting." the old woman said, her voice laden with mistrust.

"Milady, is there something specific you want from me? I would be a slightly better conversationalist if you would untie me…" He felt very nervous. He was sure he was sweating, although the cold autumn air surrounded him.

"Not just yet." She said, sounding angry.

_He has the nerve to be polite to me. Of all the screaming curses I've heard from demons, who would have foreseen that the most polite one could be the most aggravating. _Kaede was very distrustful of this Youkai. _Feigning ignorance, however, is something this old Miko has some experience with._

"Now, let's hear some truth out of ye, young one, before I have to resort to less kind measures."

Suddenly, he really didn't like the way the elder was looking at him, her eyes boring into his. A dull ache worked its way into the back of his head.

"Now what is your name?" Kaede commanded.

His head flared in abrupt pain.

He couldn't answer, nor did he want to. He roared in pain and frightened rage, throwing off his bonds.

The moon was young in the sky, and already Sango had been frightened from sleep. She got out of her sleeping bag, careful not to wake Inuyasha or Kagome. She walked quietly back to the road they were traveling. She looked down the way back to the village, just a speck on the horizon, but still in view. Miroku's cry of rage echoed in her mind. He had never sounded like that, never screamed like that. He died in pain, knowing his defeat.

She closed her eyes, seeing the enormous flash of purple light, remembered flying through the air, landing hard, hearing her own shriek of pain. She lightly touched the metallic brace over her left knee, a gift from Kagome to speed her healing. Miroku's death brought all of them to the brink of their own. She shivered and again wished she had. Her heartache was killing her slowly, agonizingly. She rarely ate or drank. She couldn't sleep at night, and she looked the part.

She looked to the left of the narrow path through a small copse of trees illuminated in the bright, full moonlight. A few yards down that patch of trees was a deep ravine. Sango imagined the sharp rocks at the bottom, how they would likely end her pain quickly if she were to fall upon them. She shuddered; aware Miroku would think her a coward if she let it end like that, without avenging him.

Miroku was strong for her when she couldn't be strong for herself. She owed it to him to let his soul go in peace, knowing she was safe and Naraku was dead. Then, maybe she would die an honorable death by her own sword. But not until she had her revenge. She hoped desperately to make it till then.

She turned back towards the camp, meaning to try to go back to sleep, when out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a movement to her right. But it was too late. A hand went around her neck, and another around her arms, pinning her, taken completely by surprise, she was unsuccessful at throwing the attacker off her. Instead, she merely twisted her hurt leg. A muffled cry of pain escaped her, and a hand on her throat squeezed her wind pipe.

"Shh! Shh! You must be silent! No harm will come to you! I promise! Just stop struggling!" a familiar voice said in her ear. Sango nodded her head, knowing she was caught, and hoping he would be stupid enough to let her go. When the strong arms released her, she whirled to punch his head off. She stopped in mid-spin.

"_Miroku_?'"

Kagome woke up without warning. She yawned, turned over, and squinted at the moon. It was the middle of the night, perhaps only one o' clock. She looked down and noticed what woke her. The great shikon shard she wore was shaking and trembling. Confused, she woke up to tell Inuyasha, but something else caught her breath in her throat. Sango was gone.

"Miroku, is that really you?" Sango said quietly, expecting him to vanish from her sight at any second.

The stranger blinked stupidly, first noticing she wasn't a priestess, then seeing how unwell she looked.

"Miroku?" he said questioningly, wondering if that was his name. He was scared and frightened, not knowing who, what, where, when, or why anything was happening. The girl didn't look familiar to him, but her red eyes looked at him with disbelieving happiness.

"You remember me, don't you, Miroku?" She asked, eyes growing wide. She took a step towards him.

"Sango? Sango where are you?" Inuyasha's voice shouted, a ways down the road. The stranger visibly tensed at the sound of it.

"Sango?" Kagome's voice, much closer.

The stranger grabbed Sango just as she tried to respond. Kagome appeared just in front of them.

"Sango!" Kagome shouted, seeing the taija trapped and helpless by a shadowy figure in the dark.

"Kagome?" Inuyasha's voice, closer now, "Kagome, did you find her?"

"Don't come any closer!" The stranger's voice rasped. "No one has to be hurt here!"

"What do you want? Put her down or Inuyasha is gonna kill you!" Kagome yelled.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha ran towards them.

"Stop! Don't come any closer or I _will_ kill her!" His voice was erratic, frightened.

"Miroku, please, don't…" Sango's voice strained.

"Huh?' Kagome stared harder in the thin moonlight. It sure looked like him but-

"DIE!" Inuyasha screamed. Kagome shouted in surprise as the Hanyou sailed over her, connecting with the stranger and Sango.

Sango cried out in pain as she fell and landed on her bad knee.

Kagome looked on speechlessly as the two males fought it out. The stranger appeared to be very fast, but not as sure footed. As the Hanyou dived after the stranger was unable to do anything else save dodge Inuyasha's claws as they flashed after him in the moonlight.

"Sango, wait here!" Kagome rushed, bow in hand, towards the fighting boys.

Inuyasha was surprised just how fast yet how clumsy the Youkai was. He acted like his speed was a natural gift he didn't know how to use properly.

Inuyasha could smell it again, the smell of Naraku coming off him. The stranger had to keep backing up to avoid being torn to ribbons. Soon, Kagome was behind Inuyasha.

"Give me a clear shot!" she yelled to him.

"Kagome! No, get away!" Inuyasha shouted.

The distraction was just enough for the stranger to throw a single punch at Inuyasha. It hit him hard enough to knock him back a few steps. At that moment Sango burst into the clearing behind the Youkai.

"Stop! Can't you see it's Miroku?" She shouted at Inuyasha.

The stranger turned to her, and at that moment Inuyasha hit him hard across the face. The Youkai sailed back, flying through the air, hitting Sango.

They both went over the cliff, into the ravine.

"Sango!" Kagome cried. She dived to the edge of the cliff. She couldn't see anything down the rocky precipice. All she could hear was the lazy flow of the river below. Inuyasha stood agape, realizing what had just happened. He had not seen Sango until it was too late.

"_SANGO!" _Kagome shouted again, praying her friend would answer her. "Oh no…" Kagome covered her mouth.

But to their relief, a cry of pain echoed up from the cliff wall. Inuyasha looked over, and with his Hanyou eyes was able to see what Kagome couldn't. Halfway down the cliff, about a hundred feet below them, two people were dangling from the wall.

The Youkai held onto Sango's arm, but the smooth leather of her tunic was slipping through his grasp. She cried out in agony as her knee bumped into the wall.

"Hold on!" He said. "Hold onto me!"

Sango looked up into his eyes as the moonlight reflected off them, and to her dismay she saw that he wasn't Miroku. The deep violet eyes of the love of her life were not the ones looking down upon her now. As she dangled from his outstretched arm, the strangers dark blue eyes pleaded with her to hang on. His eyes were confused, frightened, as her lover's never were.

She slipped further.

"Let me go," Sango's voice was cold. She had been so excited to see this man, hoping against hope that Miroku hadn't really left her alone. Now that this was proven false, her life had no meaning. She was tired of the mourning consuming her slowly, wasting her.

"Let me go."

"No, you've done nothing wrong! I can't just kill you! I wasn't even going to up there neither!" He said, and her heart shattered to hear his voice, so similar to Miroku's own.

"Sango! hold on!" Kagome screamed from somewhere high above them.

But Sango wasn't holding on, she slipped further and further.

She slid out of his grasp and began to tumble down the cliff side towards certain death.


	3. Justification

_What I excel in best  
Is my excessiveness  
Self deprecation  
I hate myself sometimes  
How can I be down_

_When all that I want is in my reach?  
What's wrong with me?  
Fuck it!_

_Sometimes I can feel so touch and go  
Sometimes as my self esteem is low  
Sometimes, well at least I know sometimes I'm beautiful  
Beautiful!_

_Sometimes as my feelings coincide  
Sometimes while I struggle to survive  
Sometimes…well at least I know sometimes I'll be alright  
Be alright, Feel right, and be all right_

_Fuck It!_

_-**Taproot**_

**_Sumtimes_**

Sango awoke to warm sunlight, a light breeze, and a wide open plain. All this assured her that she had finally, however dishonorably, made it to the clearing at the end of the path. She had found heaven.

However, a dagger-like pain in her knee and a pounding headache made her unsure of that. She sat up, and saw the camp she had been in the night before, which was already packed up to go. Kagome's tent was folded up and packed next to a tree.

"I still don't trust him…My nose doesn't lie, Kagome." Sango heard Inuyasha's voice drawing closer from the other end of the short clearing near the road that led out from Kaede's village.

"Inuyasha! How could you not trust him? He saved Sango's life! He's hurt, and tired, and you want to kill him?"

Kagome hollered on and on, but Sango stopped listening. She was sure she was alive now. How she survived was a mystery to her, but she didn't care, she laid prone and let disappointment wash over her.

_I was that close to dying…and yet, I can't tell if I'm happy to be alive or not…not, I think._

Now unwillingly awake Sango sat up again and looked around. Sitting up against the tree next to her was the stranger she had mistaken for Miroku. The resemblance was still there, but his hair was longer and more kinky and unkempt, his skin less pale, and the fanglike teeth were a clear sign.

He was dozing, his arm in a makeshift cloth sling. He looked pretty banged up, his clothes were torn in several places and dotted with blood.

"Kagome! Your human senses aren't screaming 'NARAKU!' like mine are! He's just like Kagura!" Inuyasha was frantic.

"You know what? I think you're paranoid! Par-A-Noid! I don't see any reason why you aren't just overreacting! I think you are a pretty bad judge of character, Inuyasha! And on top of that, I think you've taken a few too many blows to the head to be the judge of anything!"

"Kagome! We have got to finish him now while we still can!"

"INUYASHA SIT" the Hanyou crushed into the ground.

"How could you be so heartless?" Kagome stormed off down the way, leaving Inuyasha lying unconscious on the ground.

And just like that, Sango was alone with _him._

None of the noise had bothered him from his slumber. He dozed peacefully, his breaths slow and easy, like he had nothing to worry about. Sango was slightly nervous to be around him. He wasn't Miroku. He wasn't the love of her life. He was a stranger.

Then he opened his eyes, and she shrank back. They weren't Miroku's kind and happy violet eyes; they were a deeper, darker blue. She could see many emotions raging like white water underneath the calm blue pools.

"I am glad to see you're okay." he said, looking her right in the eye.

"Yes….I'm fine," she said back, looking away. Her katana was nearby, so if he tried anything he would regret it.

"Why did you want me to let you go?" he said, his voice genuinely and innocently curious.

Sango opened her mouth to say something, but shut it again. There was nothing redeeming about her choice to say. She didn't want to fall, didn't want to die. She wanted to have roots in this life, things to make her happy, to make her smile, but all of those things were gone. She chose to remain silent, looking away. Those eyes of his bored into hers, seemed to know more than she wanted to admit to.

He looked away, aware he was making her uncomfortable. He didn't know her, and she didn't seem to know him. But he didn't know himself. He had tried and tried to remember anything before the night before last, and he drew a complete blank. It was a euphoric, almost scary sensation. Like life was a dream he couldn't wake from.

Sango also looked away, in the sunlit clouds she saw herself plunging down towards the rocky bank of the river still a mere hundred yards away. Saw this fatefully familiar-looking man grasp her as he also fell. Saw him turn and hit the boulders back first, shielding her body with his own.

Her lips pressed together. Such a strange unusual demon the dark haired stranger was. Kind, and yet underneath he possessed so many secrets. It was in the worrisome intelligent eyes now trained on Sango.

"Can I ask you something?" he said, trying to be polite, he could smell odd mixtures of fear and awkward confusion in the air around them, and he wanted badly to clear that air.

"What?" she said, not looking at him. She didn't want to talk at all, she wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.

"Last night. You called me something…am I Miroku?"

The question blindsided her. It was the last thing she could have expected him to say. She snapped her gaze back to him, searching his features and the scorching fact that he still wasn't her lover pained her again.

He seemed calm, a perpetual half smile stayed on his face permanently, a common sign of good natured people. His fangs unnerved her, however. And his eyes would not leave her. Eyes that pretended to innocent and kind, but hatred boiled somewhere underneath, like he was lying to her.

After a short time she said: "No, you aren't Miroku. I made a mistake. I don't know you." She paused. "That's a strange thing to ask. What, do you have amnesia or something?"

He blinked a couple of times, as if trying to decide the fact. Then he said: "Yes, I think I do."

He stood up and dusted himself off and removed the sling his arm was in. The long sleeved shirt he was wearing was stained with dried blood.

"Maybe I should go." he said, looking back at the village with fearful eyes. Sango found him an entirely easy person to read. He either made no attempt to shield his emotions or simply didn't know he was so obvious.

"You're not going anywhere, pal." Inuyasha said.

Sango whirled to see Inuyasha standing behind her, cracking his knuckles, staring at the stranger with hate filled eyes.

The mystery Youkai turned to face Inuyasha, his features suddenly blank, like he had shifted into hard ass gear on the fly.

"What do you care?" he said, again, no dry sarcasm or angry resentment were in those words. It was an honest question.

"I don't know what you're up to, you filthy bastard, but I won't stand for it." Inuyasha said, taking an aggressive step forward.

The stranger didn't move, his arms hung loosely at his sides. He looked the Hanyou dead in the eye.

"I don't know what you are talking about," he said.

"Really? I think you know exactly what I am talking about. You're not fooling anybody, pal. I am about to tear you limb from limb."

Sango looked on, unsure about what to do or say. She had her suspicions, too. Going perhaps more than a little bit crazy hadn't dulled her warrior wit. Yet, she didn't have any reason to want to kill him either.

"Why?" the stranger asked. His weird questions bothered Sango, but infuriated Inuyasha.

"What do you mean why? Don't play stupid, asshole. It'll only make your death more painful!"

"I am not stupid. I don't know you, and you hate me. I want to know why."

Inuyasha took another step forward, grinding his teeth and clenching his fists. Sango moved out of the way, still attempting to figure out if she should try to stop Inuyasha or help him.

"But I do know you. You're the spawn of that fucking Naraku. I can smell it all over you." Inuyasha stepped forward again, now within arms length of the strange Youkai.

"I don't know any Naraku." the stranger said, unflinching.

'_That's it!_ IRON REAVER SOUL STEALER!' Inuyasha struck out at him at point blank range. Somehow, he missed.

Sango had always been amazed by Inuyasha's speed. As fast as Inuyasha was, this guy was much faster. The stranger sidestepped the attack like he had all the time in the world, and then with a blur like punch, sent Inuyasha reeling backwards.

"Leave me alone. I don't want to fight you." the Youkai said, still calm and blank.

"Oh, now it's on!" Inuyasha drew Tetsusaiga, brandishing it in the stranger's face. "You may be fast, but you're still gonna die!"

"Inuyasha SIT!" Kagome roared before the Hanyou could swing. She ran up to the stranger. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No, I am fine," he said, sitting back down, exhausted. He hadn't fully healed from his wounds, and falling a hundred feet into a canyon that didn't quite have enough water over its rocks hadn't helped that process.

"You're still hurt," Kagome said, "You shouldn't be moving so much," She ignored Inuyasha's muffled curses and sat down next to the Youkai. She put her hand on his arm, meaning to ease his pain with a little of her Miko healing powers.

He leaped back, uttering a hurt yelp.

"Don't touch me like that!" he said, his voice suddenly aggressive and mistrusting.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," Kagome said, but she was instantly wary of the stranger. The curing and healing powers of a Miko only hurt truly evil Youkai. She stood up, trying to act normal, but didn't make any sudden moves until Inuyasha had gotten up.

Sango also realized what had just happened, and had her katana in her hand. All eyes were on the stranger.

The Youkai realized he had done something to scare everyone. He didn't know exactly what, but he knew that all three of them thought him hostile. Even down to the small and innocent young girl who had stopped Inuyasha from trying to kill him, all three stood in battle ready stances.

Automatically, the Youkai mind whirled with complex ways in which he could kill each of them without getting hurt himself. Taking the sword the wounded girl carried, snapping the priestess' neck, slicing through the Hanyou's gut before…

He abruptly clenched shut his eyes, banishing the thought. He had no reason to do such a thing. It was all a misunderstanding.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he said, speaking directly to the fledgling Miko. He tried to lighten the mood by changing the subject. "Your name is Kagome, right?"

Kagome softened, slightly relieved. She was naturally trusting. Sango and Inuyasha still didn't let down their guard.

"Yes, that's my name. What's yours?" Kagome said.

"I don't know my name.'"he said truthfully.

Sango chimed in, also eager to avoid fighting.

"Yeah, that's what he told me. You took a bad hit to the head, didn't you?"

"Yes, I guess I did…," the stranger said. He decided to show nonaggression by sitting back down. He had no wish to kill any of them. The two women had been kind to him, and the Miko obviously controlled the half-breed, so he decided he would try to make friends. He needed them.

Kagome embraced the chance to avoid bloodshed as well, and slowly walked towards him.

"Don't worry, I won't touch you if you don't want me too," she said, trying to calm him. "Well, if you don't remember your name, we have to give you one. Can't go around without a name, eh?"

'How bout scum bag?' Inuyasha growled.

"Shut up, Inuyasha," Sango said.

The Hanyou growled and stormed off to the other side of the clearing, separate from the situation but available to help if anything should go wrong. He still didn't like the Youkai.

"I guess not," the stranger said. "Please, if I must choose a name, call me Kazemei."

Sango thought to ask for that name would be strange. If you didn't have a family name(which sometimes have interesting translations), you had a title. The _black wind_ wasn't something people commonly asked to be called. But Kagome didn't catch onto this.

"It's a deal, Kazemei," she said, and without thinking about it, she offered to shake his hand, a custom he likely wasn't familiar with, or, in this case comfortable with.

He looked down at her hand, unsure of what he was supposed to do, and wondered if it was some strange greeting. The girl didn't dress like she was from around here, either.

"Uh, nice to meet you," he said lightly touching her hand the way one might touch a stove that could still be hot.

"Nice to meet you, too, Kazemei." Her wry little smile eased the Youkai's tension. "So, do you remember anything about who you are or what you were doing at the battle plain?"

"Not a clue," he said.

Two weeks had gone by and Kazemei had stuck around, slowly but surely becoming a part of the team. Kagome liked him more than Inuyasha could have expected, and no amount of screaming and yelling on the Hanyou's part could change that.

Kazemei kept Sango busy, and she liked him more than Inuyasha could have ever feared, but in his heart Inuyasha was happy for Sango. She had badly needed something to be absorbed in, and as much as Inuyasha despised Kazemei, she needed him so bad that he could not help but let the guy stay.

It took three nights before Inuyasha slept at all. He would stay awake, staring at Kazemei. Inuyasha couldn't help but become slightly trusting of the Youkai. As a person, He was kind, sickeningly polite, quiet, and reflective.

But that smell never went away.

The afternoon sun was bathed in clouds, and a cool breeze sent fir needles and cherry blossoms in a beautiful dance through the autumn air.

Youkai attacks were nonexistent . Peace prevailed and Inuyasha spent most of his time with Kagome.

They had finally run out of reasons to fight, and Inuyasha could warm up to her and she to him. Sango did almost nothing but tell stories to Kazemei, who listened well and never seemed to grow bored of her.

Kazemei was quiet to a suspicious point for Inuyasha. He hardly said a word unless spoken to or asked. However, a loss of memory didn't stop him from being very insightful and understanding.

But that smell never went away.

Today he sat listening to Sango tell some random story about a demon hunt she had when she was fourteen, nodding in all the right places, seeming interested as usual.

Inuyasha noted another suspicious thing about him; although he seemed cheerful but quiet as usual, something was obviously bothering him. Today, the gang was heading back to Kaede's village. Kazemei looked nervous because of this. Kazemei told them he had escaped from Kaede's village without hurting anyone, but Inuyasha observed Kazemei's conspicuous fear with a close eye.

Inuyasha passed it off and went back to doing what consumed most of his time, sitting peacefully with Kagome, or bothering her when she was trying to cook something. Whatever confrontation or revelation could wait until they got back to the town, anyway. The Hanyou managed to trust the Youkai at least that much.

Today wouldn't go as planned, unfortunately. Sango was taking a brief nap, and Kazemei was staring off into space, as he tended to do a lot. Inuyasha was sitting with Kagome, both of them talked quietly.

Suddenly, Kagome stiffened.

"Jewel shards," she said, looking to the east, the opposite way from which they were going, "coming this way."

Inuyasha stood, his hand on the hilt of Tetsusaiga. Kazemei, who knew a lot about the jewel shards from listening to the group (although he was never told about the five in his arm, and, astonishingly, he never acknowledged them or spoke of them. It was like he had no idea they were there, and the gang certainly didn't see any reason to tell him yet, particularly because Kagome couldn't remove them without cutting into his arm.), did not stand but stopped staring off into space and turned his head to the east.

Soon it was within eyesight of the Hanyou and the Youkai. A demon, and not a weak one, was running towards the group, perhaps attracted by the large amount of jewel shards Kagome carried. It was a humanoid Youkai, dressed in expensive clothes of a vulgar colorful flair..

'If it isn't the famous half breed! And his famous wenches, and the famous monk, Miroku, I presume.' This demon was a cocky one. Young, but powerful. Inuyasha could see his wind signature, and it was impressive, near fearsome, but nothing he couldn't handle, in his opinion.

By now Sango was awake, and the comment about Miroku had enraged her. She seethed, ringing her hands, but knowing that not one of them had any say in this except for Inuyasha.

The human-like demon paced back and forth, his expenisive looking silk clothing rippling as he garishly punctuated all his conversational points with sweeping hand gestures.

Kazemei stood, and faced the Youkai. His eyes had grown a clouded cast to them, an absent fury that Sango had not seen before. She took a step back from him.

"You fool. I am not Miroku. Miroku was human." Kazemei said, his voice flat and cold as the autumn air had grown.

"Oh, I forgot, he's dead!" the unnamed Youkai gave an obnoxious laugh. One look at his disgusting wrinkle of a smile showed that his clothing was the only noble thing about him..

The pompous demon drew a long sword of glittering gold and steel.

"Blown up and everything. Ha, weakling, like all of you. Well, I'll be the one to kill you, and you , and you, and you," He said, pointing to each of them. "The respect garnered will be nice, but the wenches jewel shards will be my true prize!"

"You talk too much, jackass!" Inuyasha said, leaping forward, clanging swords with the mouthy Youkai.

Kazemei watched Inuyasha fight without involving himself. It was a rough fight, but Inuyasha had control and it wouldn't be long before he overpowered the Youkai.

Observing the Hanyou's fighting style, Kazemei noticed there was hardly any technique or finesse to it. Inuyasha relied heavily on his strength, which was abnormal for a Hanyou, and the sheer power of the Tetsusaiga. Once that week, Kazemei had asked to hold the weapon. Inuyasha obliged, laughing. The fang sword was ridiculously heavy. Kazemei had trouble even holding it, and didn't want to know what it would be like to be hit with it. The Youkai was by no means weak, but any time he was forced to block a blow from Tetsusaiga instead of dodging it , he was sent flying back.

Kazemei noticed movement out of the corner of his eye, three Youkais, dressed identically to the original attacking Youkai, all armed. Kazemei motioned to Sango, who motioned to Kagome. Sango still wasn't in much shape to fight, but had a hand on her Hiraikotsu anyway.

"Give me your katana," Kazemei said.

Sango looked into his eyes. She was never able to draw out of him what he knew of weapons and combat, or if he possessed any demon magic. She knew he was extremely fast by all standards and that was it. He never hid emotions well, but any vital secrets that he might have were kept and not shared. She looked into his eyes that had told her everything she ever needed to know when words didn't suffice, and they asked her to trust him. She handed him the sheathed weapon.

"Ha! I would be a very foolish demon if I didn't bring a contingency plan!" The vulgar Youkai shouted, and the three other Youkai's sprung out from hiding.

What happened next shocked Sango. She knew speed wasn't everything in a fight. What she saw almost changed her mind.

Kazemei was standing right next to her, and then he wasn't. The first Youkai leaped to attack her, and she steeled herself to block the blow with Hiraikotsu, but all that came down was a rain of blood. She peered over the edge of the giant boomerang and her eyes widened in total amazement.

In a split second, not long enough for her to truly believe it, she saw above her the Youkai still leaping at her, his face still frozen in a battle cry, and Kazemei was under him, her katana shot all the way through his breast bone. As fast as Kazemei appeared he was gone, like lightning.

Like a black wind.

Sango had the sensation that everything around her was moving at perfectly normal speeds while she swam through molasses to move. She wheeled about-face like a slug to the two other Youkais. She saw another one already f falling slowly, blood spurting from his chest, and another swinging at Kagome. Sango let the boomerang fly from her hand, and everything snapped back into fast forward. The first Youkai hit the ground dead, the second fell, her Katana still sticking out of his gut, and the third was shorn in half by Hiraikotsu. The raging sound of Inuyasha's Wind Scar tearing up the mouthy Youkai behind her sounded, punctuating the finish. All this happened within the spacing of a single second.

The moment that came afterwards was the detonation of her sorrow. Everything she saw came into brilliant focus, colors were priceless art, sounds sang symphonies, the air she breathed brought something to her she thought she lost forever. It brought life.

_That was amazing!, _she thought, and suppressed another of her unhealthy giggles. She caught the Hiraikotsu on its return and cursed herself for forgetting that her hurt knee was on her bracing leg. Pain shot through her and she fell over.

Right into the arms of Kazemei.

"Oh my hero," she said to him, and before he could reply with any of his modesty she pulled him by his hair into a kiss.

"What just happened?" Kagome asked, gaping at Sango and Kazemei.

"No clue," Inuyasha said, sharing her stare.


	4. Duplicity

_Oh dear God, _

_I don't feel alive! __When you're cut short of misery  __Will you pray it be the end?_

_Turn your surprised wide eyes to me __Then you'll know just what I am: The Scare that triggers your fear  __Come know me in a different light, now, here  __Come know ME as God!_

**-**_**Coheed and Cambria**_

_**The Second Stage Turbine Blade**_

The few weeks that followed changed the way that the gang lived for the month before. Every day was happy, celebratory. Sango crashed head over heels in love with Kazemei. Inuyasha hated it and liked it at the same time. He was very happy for Sango, happy that she had rediscovered life, rediscovered revenge, rediscovered love.

But that smell never went away.

Inuyasha sat alone underneath the Goshinkibo tree, meditating as he did every day he was near that tree. It was his only true solace. In former times he spent his time there mulling over the past, thinking about Kikyou, about pain, about love lost and peace forsaken. Today, he thought about the future. No one ever thought the Hanyou to be the sharpest sword in the armory, but no human could ever understand the mechanisms of his mind.

A dog's sharpest and most decisive sense is smell. Memory for the canine is based almost solely on scents. As much as Inuyasha desperately wanted to believe in Kazemei, to trust him, to respect him, to value him all his human heart needed to value him, his Youkai heart did not trust him, did not believe him, did not respect him. He smelled like Naraku.

And that smell never went away.

As it turned out, Kazemei didn't really have anything to fear coming back to Kaede's village. He may have left as a fugitive, but he had not killed or maimed anyone upon his escape, and Kagome's opinion as well as Sango's helped win his redemption. Inuyasha's silence completed it. Kaede still did not trust him; she and Inuyasha had a discussion earlier that day that raised only more questions in the Hanyou's mind that could not be answered.

_What could be his relationship to Naraku…? _The Hanyou wondered.

"Here you are again," Kagome said, strolling up to the tree, 'Come on, or you'll be late for dinner."

The gang, of which Kazemei was now essentially a part of, sat down for what was what dinner was considered before Miroku's passing: Fun, laughter, and the unifying measure of mirth, food.

Sango laughed as Kazemei made a crack about Kagome's cooking that caught a mock death glare from the fledgling Miko. Laughter ensued, but Inuyasha didn't participate. He excused that fact by shoveling rice into his mouth, pretending that he was distracted by the food, but he counted every move and word of the Youkai. There was still no reason to suspect him of anything.

But that smell never went away.

Later in the week, Naraku himself decided to send the group the message that he still was very much alive and ready to cause trouble. The group was packing up, ready to set out in search of more jewel shards, when the message showed up.

One of Naraku's classic demon puppets met them on the village outskirts, waving its big, ugly tentacles around, knocking trees over, and calling for Inuyasha to show himself. The team showed up, and things got right to business, with Inuyasha and Sango slicing the puppet up like a breakfast onion.

They fought the demon puppets so many times that destroying the thing was like squishing a beetle under the sole of a boot.

Kazemei was there, eager to help, but he found himself halted by the puppet, as unable to cut it as a child unable to attack its mother. He stared it, a transfixed, angry frown on his face.

A voice was in the back of Kazemei's head, a voice he recognized but could put no face or memory to. _Maijinsoku, Maijinsoku, kill them, Maijinsoku!_

He felt the voice grow louder and louder, until the words trebled into a wordless howl like rolling thunder. Pain flared in his head, growing until it was unbearable. He sank to his knees, his face contorted into a grimace of pain.

Inuyasha finally tore out the heart of the puppet, and the pain stopped. Kazemei felt like he might pass out for a second, and remained on his knees, eyes closed, baring his teeth, willing conscious thought back into his head.

"Kazemei, are you all right?" Kagome asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm…fine," he said very slowly. Kagome, thinking he was angry with her for touching him, stepped back.

"What's wrong with you, pal?" Inuyasha asked, standing next to Kazemei. "You sick or something?"

Sango walked up too, and he became beyond embarrassed. Not only did he feel weak in their eyes, he still heard it in the back of his head, fading away in a final whisper _Kill Kagome, kill Inuyasha, kill Sango, kill them, Maijinsoku…_

"I have to go," he whispered, unable to get up. Flashing images of him cutting Sango's throat over and over happened under his eyelids.

"What did you say? Kazemei, what's wrong?" Sango asked, kneeling next to him.

"_I have to go!_'" he shouted and shoved past her, running off into the woods.

'I wonder what's bothering him?' Sango said, looking after him.

Inuyasha didn't like it. Kazemei had acted very strange when the puppet came. Also, the demon toy was even easier today than usual. Inuyasha could have sworn it had been talking to Kazemei.

_Not talking, _Inuyasha thought, _Commanding, It was _commanding _him._

Kazemei ran as far and as fast as he could, trying to put distance between him and his friends. Coming to a stop in a thick wooded creek, he sat down and immediately tried to explain to himself what just happened.

_That thing knows me. It…is me. I am Maijinsoku…_

Horrible memories of things that hadn't happened flooded his mind. He cut Sango's throat, He sliced Inuyasha's in half, he brought the severed head of Kagome to Naraku.

Naraku.

He shook with the recognition. It brought with it a torrential storm of contradicting feelings, he raged, he cried, it tore him in half. One side of him embraced the murder, blindly ached for it, but reason screamed against it. He had no reason to kill them. Why did he want to so badly?

_Because you're mine._

No, I'm not, I'm not! I am my own person, like anybody else!

_Don't be foolish. You're mine, you are Maijinsoku._

No, I am not! I am Kazemei and I choose to be myself!

_You have no self. You are my speed and nothing more. Kill them._

I refuse!

_You have no choice._

Kazemei began shaking violently, his skin turned a bluish tinge, like he was freezing, but he felt hot, blind, angry.

_You have no say. You are my speed, and you will do as I command._

I am no longer yours; I have embraced who I have become!

_You haven't changed, Maijinsoku. You are still mine._

"No, no, no, no," he whimpered aloud, fighting with all his might against the will of his master.

_You are nothing but an extension of my hand, Maijinsoku, and my hand does as _I _bid, not you._

I…

"I…" he said, but he didn't say anymore. He wasn't his own any more.

He was the speed of Naraku. He stood, and began walking back to the village.

_I will kill them all._

Night came, and Kazemei had not returned. Sango felt worried about him. She wondered if she had done something to scare him away, or make him hate her. Her brain refused to even consider the idea that Naraku might have done something to him. She walked away from the hut, trying to clear her head.

She would be alone again without Kazemei. She loved him, likely much more than he loved her. It seemed to be something he accepted, like the air he breathed or the water he drank. He never professed it to her, but did not refuse her when she came to him. She walked alone along the trees, wondering if she had made a mistake, had forced herself on him.

Inuyasha was gone, off bathing alone in the hot springs, trying to clear his head as well.

Kagome was alone in Kaede's hut.

Maijinsoku arrived at the entrance to the hut, chuckling at his good fortune. Kagome was alone and completely helpless. This new persona residing in Kazemei's body, or perhaps now fully in control of his _own_ body, Maijinsoku smiled and pushed open the weaved door.

"Kazemei, you're back!" Kagome said, standing to greet him. "Are you feeling okay? I could make you some tea."

Maijinsoku smiled and was ready to snap her neck, and he reached to do it. What happened next was like a rusty gear locking and stopping the machine that it moved.

Maijinsoku reached out to grab her, but his hand slowed, then stopped in place. His brain then took on a queer doubling sense, like he was thinking two ways about two different things. His mouth moved without him telling it to.

"Kagome…..run, run….away….get….help….." Kazemei moaned. Enraged, Maijinsoku focused his will and pushed foward. The incarnation of Naraku stepped forward and again tried to grab Kagome, who by now was thoroughly scared and shrinking back from him.

"Kagome…now you die," the clear rasping grating voice of Maijinsoku said, but he was again slowed to a stop. The Youkai's left hand gripped his right wrist tightly, as if the left was in utter opposition to Maijinsoku's right hand reaching Kagome. Maijinsoku began to tremble in exertion.

Kagome was white-faced and not finding this joke at all funny.

"Kazemei, this isn't…you're scaring me!"

"Run! Run away, Kagome! Not… joke…" the Youkai's voice suddenly sounded fearful, weak, helpless.

Kagome finally took the hint and tried to run past him, to get to Inuyasha. Maijinsoku's right hand broke free, shot out and gripped her by the throat, holding her up in the air.

"I said YOU DIE!" Maijinsoku said, now back control of his own body.

By a miracle of timing, Sango stepped into the hut.

"_Kazemei, what are you doing?" _She gasped, staring wide-eyed at Kagome, who was desperately tearing at the Youkai's hands.

"My name is Maijinsoku, wench, and I am killing her slow, can't you tell?" He smiled a terrible and ugly toothy grin at her.

"You…, you, you, you, you _BASTARD!" _Sango screamed and launched herself at him. She jabbed her thumbs into his evil eyes..

Not expecting this much trouble from a human, he yelped in pain. His grip loosened just enough for Kagome to draw a single ragged breath.

Kagome summoned the last of her conscious thought into a Miko spell. Pink light flared over the incarnation's hand. He screeched and let go of her. Kagome crumpled into a lifeless ball on the floor.

Sango, however, wasn't done. In a betrayed fury, she attacked every possible weak point she could think of. She jabbed his eyes, punched his throat, attacked pressure points. She kneed him between his legs with all her heartbroken anger , and he went down, still stunned from the Miko's attack. Recovering himself, Maijinsoku grabbed her by the throat and throttled her, cursing her, telling her in Naraku's voice how he would enjoy watching life fade from her eyes. Her flailing hands found Kazemei's katana on the floor, and she rammed it into his side.

His victorious laughing turned to a lone defeated howl, she felt his hot blood wash onto her belly. He leaped off of her, the blade's hilt still jutting sideways out from his torso. He took two graceless and stupefied steps backward and pulled the sword out of himself. The Youkai's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he toppled over, falling through the hut curtain onto the welcome mat outside outside.

"Kagome," Sango crawled to her hurt friend. She had only been choked by the demon for a matter of seconds and her throat felt full of bloody fire. Kagome had been in the grasp of Maijinsoku for nearly almost half a minute, and was unmoving, her eyelids slightly open, her eyes rolled back and white. Thankfully, she was breathing, but a small trickle of blood dribbled out of her mouth. She would survive, but her injury was still very serious.

Sango turned her gaze to the Youkai who she had thought to be her friend and companion. He was still lying in the doorway, unmoving. A small pool of blood, one far too small for the wound she had dealt him, was spread underneath him.

She spared a moment to cry, to berate herself for knowing it was too good to be true. She buried her face in her arms, hiding her tears from no one. When she looked up, Kazemei was gone.


	5. Convition

You want it all but did you want it tonight?

Oh you don't remember as you wait by the light

Oh don't you see what you are asking of me?

With the turn of this knife

Know I will take your life

This isn't a crime!

No, I'm begging for mercy!

Now it's time please pray for me.

There will be Justice In Murder!

Now you've been for me

What no other could be

Will I now grow old

To forget all those?

Well blow off sorrow!

Goodbye tomorrow!

_**Coheed and Cambria**_

_** Good Apollo I'm Burning Star IV Vol. 2**_

It hurt like electric ice; a jolting, stabbing, freezing sensation, like being stuck with a thousand red hot needles at the same time a being doused with ice water. He'd been stabbed, run through, and fallen off a cliff. Pain was something he could get used to. Regenerating was something far beyond pain.

Maijinsoku never completely understood what was happening, but he thought it came out to his body making something out of nothing, forming flesh, healing wounds that could not be healed by any real means.

Maijinsoku shook violently in fevered agony as his demon body tried to piece his organs back together. The human bitch had caught him off guard and put a katana through his kidney and liver.

Both the humans alone had caused enough trouble for the incarnation to be worried about their next encounter, without even considering Inuyasha, who had been a thorn in his master's side for longer than any living thing that opposed him.

He bent low by the edge of a slow moving brook, wracked again by another spasm. As much as the wound in his stomach hurt, as much as the burning blisters that Kagome caused when she touched his hand hurt, the regeneration process hurt the worst. Every muscle in his body contracted and expanded wildly.

He settled against a large rock, shaking as his skin hue darkened.

_Those bastards…how did they make me forget so much? This hurts too much, something is wrong with me!_

Worse yet, Maijinsoku began to feel strange. He was certain he would be safe here long enough to regenerate, but he couldn't explain the irrational feelings and emotions he felt.

First he had been angry a pair of human girls could outsmart him so easily. Now he was afraid.

Not afraid of those girls….but…

For them?

Maijinsoku sunk to a prone position, crying out in pain. One arm wrapped around his stomach for its physical pain, but his other was wrapped around his head, covering his eyes.

"AUGH…ack LET GO OF ME! _Who are you…"_

In his mind, he felt a strong falling sensation not unlike that inertial feeling of being in an airplane when it takes a steep drop in altitude.

Just for a second his body went completely limp, paralyzed, then suddenly he could feel again. The horror of this sensation made Kazemei flail out, looking as if to shield himself from the rocks and trees around him.

Maijinsoku felt like he was going insane. He could not understand through the limited imaginativeness of his vicious demon mind how he could feel blatant fear when he was alone, unchallenged. Couldn't understand when all he wanted; to please Naraku with the death of Kagome and Sango, he could worry so much about…

Maijinsoku tried to scream, but no sound came out of his mouth, yet the scream reverberated through his head

Seeming to sense Maijinsoku's weakness, this separate mind of Kazemei railed against the incarnation's sanity, fighting for the front position in the body they now shared.

Now the moment Maijinsoku hesitated back in Kaede's village when he was trying to kill Sango played back in his memory, and Maijinsoku knew he was possessed, losing control of his own body.

Now that Maijinsoku was in the throes of blinding agony, the will of Kazemei brought a searing pain throughout Maijinsoku's brain, increasing his pain several fold and slowing the careful process of regeneration.

Maijinsoku sensed his thoughts quiet, his fear dim. All his perceptions waned down to nothing.

In a final roar of frustration, he lost control.

Inuyasha was guilty to a pitiful degree when he had found Kagome and Sango lying hurt in a pool of blood that belonged to that bastard Youkai. He never left Kagome's side during her recovery. He stood watch over her, tried to aid her medically, tried to comfort her with his words, and was more of a pain in the ass to the healer who treated Kagome than anything else.

Sango returned to her quiet depressive ways. She knew that Kazemei would come back for them. He was Naraku's last working incarnation, (Kagura now some kind of rogue player in the games that Naraku played), and the rest were slain by Inuyasha.

He would be back, and Sango vowed to be the one to kill him.

Still, however, she thanked the Youkai for one thing; he had renewed the vigor in her she had lost: the will to avenge, to kill those that betrayed her, that hurt her.

The next day while Inuyasha worried over Kagome, who was recovering quickly, suffering mostly a sore scratchy throat, Sango was out in the trees beyond the village, releasing her anger on the forest, shattering trees with Hiraikotsu.

_ I was so foolish to believe him. We all were stupid to believe him! _She cut another tree in half with the giant boomerang, berating herself. _Inuyasha was right for once is his miserable life! Kazemei was here to get close and kill us once we trusted him!_

Naraku had never been known for his clean tactics, but he had gone too far this time. Sango would kill Kazemei, _Maijinsoku, _the incarnation she had allowed herself to love, and then she would kill Naraku, the evil that had stolen all meaning from her life.

Little did she know, her chance to complete one of those tasks was near her right now, watching her expend herself screaming at the trees around her.

Sango had stopped raging for a moment, holding Hiraikotsu in one hand, breathing heavily from exhaustion, when a hand fell on her shoulder. She turned, expecting to see Inuyasha, or Kaede, or even Kagome.

But it was _him._

She cried out in fury and indignation reaching for her katana, but as always, he was too fast.

One moment she was drawing her blade from its sheath, ready to put it right into his heart, to break it like he did her's, and the next her katana and Hiraikotsu were flung out of reach and she was pinned to the ground, helpless.

"Sango, please, listen to me-" he tried to say, but she spat in his eye.

"Fuck you, you heartless bastard! You better kill me fast, because if you don't, I'm sending you to Naraku in pieces, _you fucking piece of SHIT!"_' Sango struggled against him in surprising strength and fury, but she couldn't break free from his hands that pinned her to the ground.

She had made another mistake, going to far from the village. It was impossible for anyone to save her but herself.

"Sango, please! I'm not going to hurt you, please listen to me!" His eyes pleaded with her, a thousand apologies floating in a sea of guilt. Sango remembered his eyes, how they spoke to her with more love and affection than his mouth ever did, and she stopped cursing, still looking him dead in those eyes, hers filled with a fiery inhuman rage.

"Sango, I can't help myself, something inside me is taking control, making me hurt people I care about! I need your aid, take me to someone who can remove this curse!" he waited for an answer, but Sango's eyes still bore into his, silently saying to him: _Let me go, so I can kill you!_

"Sango, it's me, Kazemei, your faithful friend, can't you help me?"

"You're not Kazemei!" she growled, and spat in his face again. "You're Maijinsoku! Kazemei was nothing more than a ruse to get close to me! You think I'll fall for that again? Well, fuck you because you're _wrong!"_ She started struggling against him again, trying to kick and punch at him.

Kazemei grimaced in sudden sadness, remembering how Sango used to playfully pin his hands over his head as she kissed him.

Kazemei, his face covered in her spittle, closed his eyes in quiet angst.

The moment went on for an awkwardly long time. Sango looked at his blue hued skin wet with her spit and thought of him like a fish, one of the huge ones of the sea, the kind with teeth.

But then his eyes opened again, and they were filled with tears and confusion, and she could not keep those eyes from wrenching at her heart.

To Sango's surprise, he let go of her. He turned away from her and sat on the grass, silent. Sango didn't waste the opportunity to grab her katana. Holding it up in front of her, she stepped back and stood a good distance away from the Youkai. He was incredibly fast, and the only way she'd have a chance if he attacked would be a considerable amount of space between them. Against any other Youkai she would have put more faith in her Hiraikotsu, but if she missed Kazemei just once with the boomerang it would be all over.

He didn't move, didn't speak. Sango stood with the sword in her grasp, ready to cut him down at his slightest movement. Seconds passed, then minutes, then hours, then days, then years. The sword began to wobble in her grasp, as if uncertain. The wind blew through Kazemei's hair, sending it dancing around his head in a black halo. The rest of his body remained still.

"Damn you…" she muttered under her breath, and brought the sword down. "You just won't give me a reason to kill you, will you? You won't give me a chance to say goodbye…just like Miroku…"

'For the last time, Sango, I am not Miroku. And I never will be.'

Another eternity passed, Sango unable to say a word that wouldn't be shattered by sobbing. A lone tear ran down her face.

"Inuyasha was right," Kazemei said finally. He stood up, still facing away from her. "I am an incarnation of Naraku."

Sango's grip retightened on the hilt of her sword. Her face contorted into a mess of anger, resentment, sadness, guilt.

His head tilted forward, as if he was speaking to the ground.

"But I am not Maijinsoku. I am Kazemei. I am who I say I am. Even now that other….me… fights for control of my body."

Sango was silent. She pointed the katana towards him like an accusing finger, the blade trembling in her hands. Hot tears burned her eyes.

"He hates you, Sango. He hates all of you." Kazemei looked up at the sky, hands limp and unthreatening at his sides.

"But I don't. His hate isn't his own. It's a gift from Naraku. His hate has limits, boundaries. Maijinsoku wants you dead, but his will is a finite resource. Do you understand, Sango?" Kazemei turned towards Sango, penetrating her weak and tearful eyes with his gaze. His large and unfairly cute eyes appraised her, the glints of fear and sadness floated on his own welling tears. She immediately looked away.

"No I don't," she said, her voice wavering like her hands. "I don't know you, Kazemei, or Maijinsoku, or whoever you are. You're a liar, a thief, and a very, very, dead demon!"

Sango rushed him, afraid his soothing voice would calm her, letting him in to destroy her from her heart without. She brought the katana down, meaning to slice his head from his shoulders.

He caught her arm passively, and with a blurred movement took the blade away from her. She cried out in protest but he stopped her with his mouth, kissing her.

It was a wonderful, passionate, meaningful kiss. It melted her, and at that moment she wanted nothing more to forgive him.

When she stabbed him, she felt his pain.

The knife was laced with a heavy spider Youkai venom. His eyes opened wide in shock, his lips still on hers. She felt him go limp in her arms, and she spent the last of her will holding him, fighting off the aching feeling she'd made a mistake. To her horror, his eyes were still open. The black pools that once opened to his heart and soul now had a clouded, empty cast to them. She sank to the ground with his dead weight, holding him and cursing Naraku over and over.

The whole ordeal left a sour, bitter taste in all their mouths, a defeated feeling in all their hearts. Naraku had aimed very low with his last incarnation. Naraku had done a lot of things in hope of harming or killing Inuyasha and all he consorted with. He had never done anything so sadistic, so personal so inhuman as this. Obviously Miroku's death was not painful enough to the group in his eyes. So he had constructed something that would befriend Inuyasha, weaken his resolve and trust in others.

Kazemei, or Maijinsoku, or a shit stain on the asshole of the Earth for all Inuyasha cared didn't hadn't show back up. When questioned about the events of that afternoon now two days past, Sango refused to say anything other than "I dealt with him".

It's obvious she hadn't "dealt with" much at all concerning the events of the past 5 months. It was back to the same grind again, keeping their ears to the ground, looking for jewel shards that were increasingly harder to come by. Kagome had a good 70% of the Shikon no Tama in her possession and Naraku most of the remainder.

Inuyasha absently scratched bark from the God tree, thinking it all over. _I never promised myself this would be easy. I never promised myself I wouldn't have to deal with more pain, more suffering. I told Kagome, and Sango and…Miroku…that they could die. They've all come close. All of them have scars, even Kagome._

Inuyasha bit back that sour feeling in his throat, the feeling any normal person would get when feeling sadness, or regret. He remembered when Kohaku, the former most fucked up thing Naraku ever schemed up, had nearly killed Kagome. The cut from Kohaku's whip blade had been deep and ugly. Like Miroku and Sango, Inuyasha had settled into a sort of relationship with Kagome. However he could still count on two hands how many times he had kissed Kagome (unlike Miroku, who had managed to woo Sango close to actually baring his children). But he had seen Kagome without a shirt on a few times, and the sight of that scar, which had a texture like rope; ugly, bumpy, pink, raised off her skin, had always brought a severe pang of guilt.

_Sometimes even I forget this is war. Things die in war. They always have, always will. It's still not fair. It's… not the way Miroku should have died. He shoulda died the stuck up old sage he wanted to be. Nah, he shoulda died with his grand children holding his hand, old and weak, not they way he…_

Inuyasha thumped his head back against the tree, his eyes shut tight in a face of disgust and self loathing. Naraku beat the Hanyou to a bloody pulp and nearly killed Kagome that fated night. Sometimes, to Inuyasha, it seemed Naraku had enough power to kill him and all of his friends in the bat of an eyelash and was fucking with them.

He had changed so much through his life. From innocent child, to angry youth, to a murderous hateful adolescent he had come of age. He had met Kikyo and it all changed again. Then she had betrayed him, killed him. He was hateful again. Now Inuyasha's allies had brought back to him compassion and trust. He loved Kagome. It may have been a backward love. He loved the Kikyo that she somehow had once been. He loved her unique Kagome-ness that had nothing to do with Kikyo.

Devotion is a noble concept, yet terrible is the risk to the devoted. Thanks to the nature of his quest and his life, Inuyasha had heard many such sayings from many old farts like Kaede. But it was the only one that stuck in his head. Sango had all her most precious things taken away from her, her family, her home, her love, and even her very life. He loved Sango almost as a sister. You can't spend two years living and fighting alongside someone and not grow near them. It tore at him to see her every day. Sango's gaunt, stricken face made obvious her lack of sleep and how little she ate. Her short time of recuperation brought on by her fling with Kazemei and the positive effects it had on her health no longer showed. She returned to her hollow, dour existence, barely seeming alive anymore. They continued traveling, and she followed.

It was as simple as that. She rarely talked. She barely slept, and was completely unresponsive to any attempt to cheer her up. Inuyasha was reminded of the reanimated dead Kagura would use against them. All she was missing was the moans and groans.

The trio settled in for camp at the top of a hill about a half mile from the village. The ravine where Kazemei had saved Sango's life was less than two miles further south. Kaede's village was still visible in the valley past the hills and ravines they were traveling through. Sango went immediately to 'bed' which for her meant rolling up in a sleeping bag and staring off into space for a hours.

Inuyasha and Kagome set up about 50 meters away, wanting to give Sango her space. They had given up on comforting her.

They sat next to each other, staring silently at their campfire. Kagome broke the silence first.

"You were right all along, Inuyasha. He was a monster and I should have trusted you. I just…"

Inuyasha cut her off

"No Kagome, you were right.'

She turned to him, speechless, a stupefied expression on her face.

"You can say this is some story of heroes and villains, of good and bad, right and wrong. But it's never as simple as bedtime tales makes it out to be," he said. As Kagome stared thoughtfully at Inuyasha, he looked up at the stars, avoiding looking into her beautiful and painfully familiar eyes.

"When we started, all I wanted was revenge, all I felt was hate and suffering. I wanted Naraku's death more than anything in the world. Can you tell me honestly if I'm any better than he is?"

Kagome looked at Inuyasha with wide eyes, not wanting to answer that question.

"It's been hard for me to admit that only recently I've found what I'm really in this for…"

"What do you mean?"

"At first I…hated not being human, hated not being a demon, hated being in between. Then…I found out it was Naraku who really took my life away…I had what I needed before, and he took it. But it's not even about revenge so much anymore…" Inuyasha looked away from her. Kagome leaned forward. _He can't be crying, can he?_

"It's because this _is _ all heroes and villains. Because Naraku is a monster who has hurt so many people. I'm…so guilty. If maybe I…" Kagome struggled not to gasp at the sound of Inuyasha's voice hitching ever so slightly, "If I had tried to become human for Kikyo, sooner…None of this would be happening. So many lives have been destroyed by the shards of the sacred jewel. I could have made it disappear completely, she said. Maybe I'm really the monster…"

He turned his entire body away from her, shielding himself from her scrutiny, or maybe her pity.

"Inuyasha, don't you ever…say that." Kagome laid a hand on his shoulder.

"But, mostly," His head lifted, "I'm not sorry. If things happened differently, I never would have met you, Kagome.

And I'm not a disgrace, I'm not a monster. If Kaede can trust me, If you and Sango have befriended me, then I can't be so bad.

There is a difference, Kagome, between us and _him. _It's because we're really people and we're good to people, because we help people, that we are better than Naraku."

Kagome couldn't believe Inuyasha; a little rattled, she made a joke.

"Where did that come from, Inuyasha? Has Kaede's little sayings crept in a given you a little insight in that thick head of yours?"

Inuyasha ignored her and laid a hand over hers.

"Kagome… you know I want… to protect you and Sango, right?"

She nodded, her heart starting to beat rapidly. When Inuyasha was a chauvinistic anti-human asshole it was, in some ways, easier to be around him. Times like these, she became all too aware how much she loved him.

_That stupid question he already knows the answer to has to be the sweetest thing he's ever said to me._

"Then maybe, after all this fighting and killing, I have something to show for it."

Kagome, without thinking, pulled Inuyasha to her and kissed him fiercely. Without question he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back. They found the cure for the horrible sadness of war in each other.


End file.
